The Birthing Vagina's Bill of Rights

I was at a birth the other night supported by an OB. Never in my doula career have I ever witnessed any OB, midwife or nurse try to force their was into a woman's vagina, in this case a teenagers vagina.
But I did the other night.

Mom opted for Demerol. Demerol makes you dizzy, sleepy and 'out of it.' Dr Petraca, the OB, walked in to the room (first time meeting this laboring mother-to-be) and she was asleep, as was her own mother. No gentle waking, no gentle, amicable introductions were had. Instead, Dr. Petraca used a loud voice, as if mom was hard of hearing, telling her he was going to check her.

After getting mom centered in the bed, and her knees up, this doctor proceeded to pull on my clients legs and shout at her that 'she had to loosen up! She had to open her legs!' He 'needed to check her!'

 Because I look at my clients, observe them, I could see that she was having a contraction. Quickly double checking myself, I glanced over my shoulder and saw on the TOCO monitor that she was in fact contracting.

Putting my hand out as if to say 'hold on' I asked, "Can we please wait until she finishes this contraction!?"

What kind of a doctor, what kind of a man tries to force his way into a woman's vagina?

The rest of this story will be talked about in another post, but from this experience I realized that our vaginas need a Bill of Rights. Just because a child is being birthed does not mean that a woman gives up ownership of her vagina. It does not become the property of anyone else, yet it seems to me that there are cases where a woman's vagina is treated as not belonging to her... and that infuriates me.

So, I started writing. I listened to my own vagina. 

What would she like to say for herself and the other vagina's out there when in their birthing time?

While this started out kind of 'tongue in cheek' originally, I realized that my vagina was quite serious. This is what she told me.

The Birthing Vagina’s Bill of Rights

1.      The Birthing Woman who spent nine months in gestation of her child(ren) retains ownership of me, her Birthing Vagina. Regardless of the fact that I am bringing forth children, I am not a separate object but am connected to a human being, The Birthing Woman. A Birthing Vagina does not become property of any birth center, hospital, medical staff, Nurse, Obstetrician or Midwife.

2.      As a birthing vagina, I retain my right to choose whom and what I allow inside me and when I allow them inside me, and have the right to allow none inside me.

3.      As a sacred portal into this world, I deserve and have the right to respect. Approach me with kindness and reverence. Enter me as gently as possible at all times after, and only after, you are given permission to do so.

4.      As a Birthing Vagina, I retain my right of privacy. If requested by the Birthing Woman, all nonessential personnel may be asked to leave the room if permission is given to enter me. The Birthing Woman’s cultural and religious requirements of privacy should also be respected at all times by all members of medical and support staff.

5.       My sister, Uterus must be honored and those with permission to enter me will wait until she is not surging. Unless there is a medical purpose for it, you will exit me before the next surge begins.

6.      The Birthing Woman that I am a part of retains the right of informed consent and informed choice about any and all procedures that may potentially take place within and beyond me. This includes all augmentations, drugs and medications, including their risks and side effects to either her or the unborn child. She also retains the right to be told of any alternatives, and the right to deny any and all treatment as per the Patient’s Bill of Rights.

7.      I retain the right to not be enlarged by cutting my sister, Perineum. I have the ability as a Birthing Vagina to stretch to pass the child through me. If I tear in the process I can be mended by a skilled physician or midwife, giving me the best opportunity, as per researched studies, for a healthier outcome. We have the right to be gently supported with counter-pressure and/or gentle massage and gentle assisted stretching.

8.      As a Birthing Vagina, the Birthing Woman and I retain the right to birth the child(ren) in any position we agree is most beneficial for us, as well as the child, and not the attending medical or midwifery staff.

9.      All third stage procedures should be done gently and respectfully, taking into    account the feat I have just performed. The emergence of my sister Placenta should be given as much time as possible and if assistance is required, it should be as gentle as possible.

Translated by Tamrha Richardson CD(CBI)©

www.tamrhasdoulasupport.com

Reprinting and sharing welcome, with credit given.